Shit Men Say Issue 23

  1. You should send me a picture so I can see how sexy you are.
  2. Yo girl, you’re so pretty, like, I wanna throw you on the tracks
  3. Hey girl are you liquid eyeliner? Because I’m pretty sure I’m going to fuck this up
  4. Hey there, happy Monday evening! I’m Keith, just wanted to see if you’re interviewing new friends?
  5. Hey baby I hope you know CPR, cuz you’re taking by breath away!
  6. Good morning. I’m looking for a unicorn. Lol well I’m 43 and my girlfriend is 20 and she want a playmate for us
  7. What would you rather have from me?
    A. Nice date. Restaurant and a movie
    B. Meaningful intelligent conversations
    C. Multiple orgasms
  8. I was wondering if you thought it was ever okay to tell a lil white lie?
  9. You must be the most obscure Pictionary, because I’m drawing a blank
  10. Either way it’s a big commitment both in time and money. I may need to audit a couple of courses to see if it’s right for me.

Shit Men Say Issue 22

  1. So its says you are sarcastic…you feel your wit could match mine?
  2. Can young tell me more about what your looking for.
  3. Hey there! How are you? My bf and I are looking for someone to have fun with. He is having to move out of state so we are having a little fun before he goes. Please let me know if you are interested and we can exchange number/photos.
  4. Hey are you a sexy fat chick? If so I’ve got a question for you
  5. I’m really curious of your definition of fat. Before I think we might have our first disagreement
  6. What can Brown do for you? 😉
  7. Hello there,Your smile light up my screen..I hope you are doing good? Great Pictures Nice Profile & lovely Smiles.
  8. If you were a flower, you’d be a DAMNdelion
  9. How am I going to “pick up” if I don’t know what you look like?
  10. hi i wanna freak sumnn maybe>>>>>

To move or not to move.

I’ve been presented with an opportunity to move to Eastern Tennessee or Texas. I don’t know where to fucking go, though, because both places are hot as hades in summer and all my fat rolls will get sticky with sweat.

ewgif.gif

Atlanta is already hot as balls. For real, have you been here? It’s like living in the hottest, moistest, most humid vagina ever.

whatgif.gif

Yeah, the heat is getting to me. Also, I’m still trying to figure out how I found a guy without a whole set of teeth attractive.

facepalmgif

So where do you live? Do you recommend either of these places?

Shit Men Say Issue 21

  1. “Liquor sex and books, that’s that don draper diet
    Are you sure you’re not a 1960s businessman?”
  2. “Do you have any grey poupon? :-D”
  3. “I need a big sexy girl who loves her ass to be eaten and stuffed”
  4. “I have an eight inch tongue and I breath through my ears! Best pickup line ever!”
  5. “I need to get my paws on your sexy ass”
  6. “Hey,I really want to make out with you…

    interested?

    Patrick”

  7. “You know, Dr. Phil says I’m afraid of commitment… Want to help prove him wrong?”
  8. “Liquor?? I hardly know her!”
  9. “Hey wanna get drunk and hookup”
  10. “Hello Beautiful, I want to kiss every inch of your body”

Let me restate this….all of these messages are from men messaging me for the FIRST TIME. No prior contact.

Shit Men Say Issue 20

  1. Hi, do you like museums? I do, but sometimes I wonder if the ancient artifacts are the red solo cup/IKEA equivalent of their time. Like are we starring in awe of the original paper plate? Hopefully that made you laugh.
  2. Once u go blk, u won’t go back lol. U know why? Your parents won’t let u back in that’s why lol
  3. I hope your not a diabetic cause this is going to be sweet
  4. you call yourself “fat?” naw honey, you are P-H-A-T…phat!!
  5. What is the difference between Full figured, Curvy and Sexy fat 🙂
  6. You misunderstand. I don’t want anything in return. Like, I literally just want to wait on you hand and foot and turn you into a spoiled princess.I’ll cook for you, do your laundry, chauffeur you around, rub your feet, be your personal bodyguard, etc.

    I know that’s unusual, but there really is no catch. Doesn’t have to be romantic. The only thing I want is for you to feel free to be unreservedly selfish around me