Shit Men Say Issue 2

It’s that time again. Here are some of the greatest lines of shit that men say on dating sites. If you have any to add, please let me know!

  1. “I would like to have a relationship with you.”–Ok, so this isn’t SO bad, but when the dude says it in the FIRST message? How do you know, Larry, huh? You don’t know anything about me except the few little deets I put on my profile. I could be a serial killer with a longer cock than you have. Come on, now.
  2. “Are you single?”–look at my profile. I wouldn’t be on this fucking site if I wasn’t single, but whatever. Just look at it before you message.
  3. “You’re worth waiting for.”–HOW DO YOU KNOW?! Gah. Desperate much?
  4. “When I make batman faces women don’t like me.”–……..Ok?
  5. “Will you do my laundry if I pay you?”–Do I look like a maid?
  6. “I have horses if you like to ride.”–sure you do, buddy.
  7. “A lesbian taught me how to eat out.”–Sure she did.
  8. Followed by: “You want to be my breakfast treat?”–I haven’t figured out how creepy this one is yet. Thoughts?

 

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2 comments

  1. Trolling Rainbows · April 3, 2016

    I’ve never been on a dating site but this shit cracked me up!!!

    Like

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