Don’t Give Him Your Phone Number Until After the Wedding

Have you ever had a guy that you are just not interested in not get the hint? Even after it’s run him over a few times like a freight train? If you have, my condolences. If you haven’t, you, my friend, are very lucky.

I don’t have any luck with men. Well, let me rephrase that. I don’t have any good luck with men. I seem to attract the losers. Such as:

The guy who doesn’t have a job.

The guy who only wants to date you because someone else dumped him.

The stage ten clinger who makes stage five clingers look amazing.

The guy with absolutely no ambition in life except to play video games.

The guy who thinks he’s getting laid simply because I say hello.

Ok, that last one may be classify all men at some point, but not all men act on that. Some take it to the point where they straight up ask when you’re coming over to experience their amazing bed skills. (Yeah, right) Those guys, they annoy me. They assume. Assuming makes them an ass, but it just makes me act like a bitch. If I want to sleep with you, trust me, you’ll know. If you have to ask, it’s a definite NO.

I’ll admit it, I’ve joined some dating sites. And let me tell ya, that’s a whole different beast! I’m either ignored cause I’m fat (boy, they do NOT know what they’re missing), or dudes get all pushy. This is why I say don’t give him your number.

Just.

Don’t.

Do.

It.

Bad, bad things happen once they have your number. Dick pics, for one. Awkward “sexting” while you desperately try to ignore the chimes so you can catch up on One Tree Hill. Questions about where this is going, when you’re going to come over for some of their mad sex skills, or the worst, “send me a full body pic.”

Anyway, this is my advice for this unusually warm February Friday night. Don’t give that number out easily, ladies! Most don’t deserve it. Come back next week for the next post. And while you wait, tell me you’re most horrifying dating story!

2 comments

  1. Julie · February 20, 2016

    I used to give guys this number 212-479-7990…. call it 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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